"For the world is hollow and I have touched the sky"

Despite a number of uncanny experiences with Town & Country magazine's back page, and a statistically improbable collection of Gemininian friends (cuz only a Gemini can really understand another Gemini!), I do not believe in Astrology. In fact, over the years I have unwittingly started several angry arguments with people who are into Astrology by questioning their pseudo-science. 

"Okay, I understand that you can calculate the position of the sun, moon, planets and stars to exacting degrees, but who decided that the positions of the spheres when someone was born indicate particular qualities?"

"HUMANS, that's who! The interpretations are completely subjective!"

They would usually assume their fallback position by accusing me of not understanding the precision of their charts, and that they are merely describing where things are - stars don't lie.


But, until a few weeks ago, I never imagined that even their math was flawed ... that's just crazy talk!


Turns out that their "precision" forgets about "precession" and the actual positions of objects in the sky don't match what their charts say. Not only do all of the Zodiac signs have the wrong dates, but there are actually 13 signs, not 12. And, it is a lot harder to draw things with 13 sections than it is with only 12.

New Zodiac Signs

Capricorn • January 20 - February 16

Aquarius • February 17 - March 11

Pisces • March 12 - April 18

Aries • April 19 - May 13

Taurus • May 14 - June 21

Gemini • June 22 - July 20

Cancer • July 21 - August 10

Leo • August 11 - September 16

Virgo • September 17 - October 30

Libra • October 31 - November 23

Scorpio • November 24 - 29

Ophiuchus • November 30 - December 17

Sagittarius • December 18 - January 20

Have a listen to this short interview with the scientist that has stirred up a scandalous storm of stellar proportions by suggesting that Astrologers' charts are wrong.

THAT means that, even if I DID believe in Astrology, rather than being a "

dual-natured, elusive, complex and contradictory

" Gemini, I am actually a 'solid, practical, extremely determined and strong-willed' Taurus. But, me and 'Bull' rarely see eye-to-eye. Now, 

I am going to have to redefine my entire personality to match the magical truthiness of Astrology.

With this new information, I really wish I had been born at the beginning of December so that I could identify with Ophiuchus ( being careful not too mis-pronounce it though ) because then everyone would assume I was wielding a big snake (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

Ophiuchus holds a huge snake, Serpens, in both hands as shown in the Atlas Coelestis of John Flamsteed. Serpens is unique in being divided into two halves.

Chances are the people who believe what they want to believe rather than the facts will continue to do so, hoping the truth will slowly fade into the background for another 2,000 years (when I guess I will be an Aries). But unfortunately, to quote an old friend and her Tarot cards, the stars don't lie.

I predict that a new cult of 'True Astrologers', flanked by their newfound Ophiuchian (pron.?) friends will now descend from the heavens and tell us all that THEY are the aliens that seeded our planet with Life, and we should now call them God... I can hardly wait.

Until then, I guess I should start calling up all of my old, happily twinned, Gemininian friends and tell them that it's over, cuz things get REALLY CRAZY when a bunch of bulls get together.

"For the world is hollow and I have touched the sky"