Looking for Mr. Goodbar

There's nothing like an ad for a dating service to remind you that your own love life isn't quite up to snuff. Until, of course, you watch Jon Lajoie's Dating Service Commercial.

The Montreal-based comedian has pulled together all the familiar elements we know and dread from those "I met my soulmate" ads that seem to be impossible to escape -- the soft lighting, the acoustic guitar soundtrack, the coy looks from the supposed real life users. But that's where the similarity ends.

WARNING: Some language may offend some people.

Sexual Minority Stress & Mental Health

Sexual minority stress, along with aging-related stress, jeopardizes the mental health of midlife and older gay men, according to a new study published by the American Journal of Public Health. In the study, sexual minority stress included the men’s perceptions that they needed to conceal their sexual orientation or being avoided because of their sexual orientation.

The study also found that legal marriage for same-sex couples may confer a unique protective effect against poor mental health. Having a same-sex domestic partner or same-sex spouse boosted the emotional health of the studied men, but having a same-sex legal spouse appeared to be the most beneficial relationship arrangement.

“This study shines a light on the mental health of a generation of gay men who survived the early years of the AIDS crisis and came of age on the heels of the gay rights movement.”

The study’s findings further suggest that targeted campaigns may be necessary to address this generation of gay men’s heightened risk for poor mental health. Sexual orientation stigma, the loss of many of their peers to AIDS and general aging-related stress, such as concerns over finances and independence, also affected the mental health of these midlife and older gay men.

READ THE WHOLE STORY HERE ...


For more information about this study, please see the American Journal of Public Health at:
http://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/abs/10.2105/AJPH.2011.300384

Penguins in Love

A decision by the Toronto Zoo to separate a pair of male penguins, dubbed the "gay penguins," has sparked an international outcry.

The African penguins, named Buddy and Pedro, formed a close bond while part of a "bachelor flock" at Pittsburgh’s National Aviary, Canadian newspaper the Globe and Mail reported.

The penguins remained close when transferred to the Toronto Zoo, and displayed courtship and mating behavior towards each other. Because of this they were dubbed the "gay penguins," although zoo keepers said their relationship was not necessarily sexual.

“It’s a complicated issue, but they seem to be in a loving relationship of some sort,’’Joe Torzsok, chair of the Toronto Zoo's board, told the Toronto Star.

The decision to separate Buddy and Pedro was taken because the zoo wanted to breed the endangered animals and spread their good genes. But the splitting up of the "gay penguins" has resulted in a backlash from around the world, the Globe and Mail said.


READ FULL STORY ....

The Look of Love

Can't blame a guy for dreaming a little!

Pretend it’s Friday night, you’re in a bar and you are people-watching. It’s dim in here but what do you see? 

Strangers exchanging glances with each other from across the crowded room? 

Their eyes meeting?

Eye contact being established?

A look that is held a bit longer? 

...the game of love has begun. 

A man peers around the room and becomes suddenly intrigued by a person returning his glance. The glance turns into a gaze. Initially beautiful, now the magnetism of prolonged eye contact has amplified attractiveness.

People perceive people as more attractive when they are engaged in eye contact with us and when they shift their direction of gaze towards us [Mason et al in 2005]. 

This directed gaze signals interest so we find them even more appealing. In other words, if someone who you find attractive locks eyes with you, they automatically go up a notch on your love barometer.

READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE

Splitscreen: A Love Story

Edinburgh International Film Festival has seen some pioneering cinema in its 65 years. This year, audiences saw another first: short films shot on a phone. Eight pocket-sized productions got a big screen premiere and one picked up the Nokia Shorts 2011 Jury prize. Congratulations to all these creative filmmakers for trying something new. 

This short film employs a very simple idea to express a beautiful story.


Splitscreen: A Love Story from JW Griffiths on Vimeo.

Sometimes a kiss is NOT just a kiss

Anyone who thinks same-sex couples in the United States should be allowed to marry was invited to Lush outlets across North America to pucker up and smack lips on June 18th. The smoochers were then invited to sign postcards telling the U.S. government to allow gay marriage.


This campaign took place on June 18 at the Byward Market location of Lush Cosmetics in Ottawa.

Photo by Abder

Same-sex marriage is allowed in Canada. In the United States, however, same-sex couples cannot get married under federal law, so they are not covered by the federal rights provided for married couples.

How true the last post's title was ... on so many levels

The word "Home" can mean so many things. When Mom and I boarded our plane home to Canada, neither one of us had any idea of how the next few months would unfold.

Turquoise was Mom's
favourite colour.

Mom passed away four weeks later after a systemic collapse, and a brief recovery which allowed her to visit with her entire family beforehand.


I feel proud to have done my part to make her last days as comfortable and happy as possible.


I couldn't have coped with everything without the support of my sister, Linda.

Everyone had a chance to
spend some time with her.

The rest of my extended family brought joy, flowers, kindness and strength for all of us to share.

I love you, Mom.

On our way home from seeing Mom at the hospital for the last time, stopped to watch a show of fireworks over the Ottawa River. It reminded us to celebrate Mom's long and beautiful life, and that she would be alive in our hearts forever.

... isn't that just like Life.


Since then I have moved, been overwhelmed by everything required to put another's affairs to rest, and made other dramatic changes in my life as a result.


... but,


I am ready to do something for myself again. Writing this blog was that for me - something for myself in happier times. And now, it can also serve as a record of our last time together, too ... a place to remember my last trip with Mom in a detailed way that a mere memory could never allow. I am grateful for that.

On turning 89, Christmas and Human Perseverance

As I mentioned earlier, part of the experience of going to the Canal for me was the celebration of my mother's 89th birthday.

For as long as I can remember, it was of vital importance to distinguish my Mom's birthday on the 23rd of December from the adjacent Christmas celebrations.

As a family, Christmas and the holidays have always included thoughts about my Mom and how special she is to us and the history we have created together. Despite everything, we have never forgotten to make her feel special on her day as the common thread between my siblings and me.

This Christmas tree was in the lobby of the Miraflores Restaurant.

I feel extremely proud to have helped make it possible for my Mom to have an unforgettable experience in the company of her whole family (either in person or by telephone and blog).

Her resilience to be able to get back up after a frightening fall in a strange land, tells me that I too have the capacity to overcome anything I might encounter in this world.

Mom I love you, and I am thrilled to have been able to share your 89th birthday in such a memorable location!

This pic shows my sister and my Mom watching the ships in the Canal.

Focus on THIS family!

This movie was featured on a recent episode of In The Life, PBS's magazine show about gay, lesbian and transgendered issues.

In 1999 Reverend Greg Stewart preached about the dire need in Los Angeles County for foster and adoptive parents. Soon after, he and Stillman White, his partner of more than 20 years, opened their home to some of these children. Their priority was to keep siblings together, regardless of age, gender, or chance for success. Over the next three years, the men fostered and then adopted five children considered “at risk”and in desperate need of love and support they have never known.

CLICK HERE to visit the movie's website.

Laughing in the Face of Racism

The repentant former KKK leader Johnny Lee Clary explains how Reverend Wade Watts, an NAACP leader, disarmed him by being cool, funny and brave, engaging in some first-rate psy-ops. Be sure to listen through to the end for the chicken story.

It ain't the meat, it's the motion!

Contrary to the pop culture notion that hot looks and masterful technique are what matter, the study released yesterday in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality found the real essentials are emotional connection between partners, communication and focus.

The study, led by sex therapist and University of Ottawa psychologist Peggy Kleinplatz, identified key components to great sex that were universal among those surveyed.

They include: being present, connection, deep sexual and erotic intimacy, extraordinary communication, authenticity, vulnerability, interpersonal risk-taking and exploration.

The study is titled The Components Of Optimal Sexuality: A Portrait Of "Great Sex."

Greek court annuls same-sex marriages

ATHENS, Greece — A Greek court annulled Greece’s only two same-sex marriages, officials said Tuesday, following a furious backlash against the ceremonies from the government and religious leaders.

The two couples — one male, one female — exploited a loophole in a 26-year-old law that did not specify gender in civil weddings, and were married in June last year by the mayor of the small Aegean Sea island of Tilos.

The ceremonies drew the wrath of the powerful Orthodox Church of Greece, with one conservative bishop denouncing them as weddings of “humanoid couples.”

Red Tie, Blue Tie, Powerful or Creative guy?

Does it matter whether one wears red or blue?

Yes, suggest several studies, including a new one out today in the journal Science.

Red is associated with love, power, nobility and now, scientists say, attention to detail. Blue (the other preferred tie color of choice for business and politics) is now thought to boost creativity.

Ciao, Baby

"Dear Andrea, I’m sorry to tell you this. Mark passed away last week. He was killed in a car accident. I’m Jeff, I was his friend. Dear Andrea, I would like to suggest that you stick to your plan and come here anyway..."

If you could go back, what would you say to the one you loved? When fates collide, a new story begins.

I know nothing about this film, never heard of it before, but it looks like it could be sweet. Here is a trailer for it.